For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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