i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
