no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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