respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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