Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize