I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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