how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
