She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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