wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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