Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
