I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes