the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Pants are for mortals