There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...