I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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