Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
