I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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