Buhtt sex?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
