now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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