I think i sorta joined a cult last night
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i think my cat just said my name.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
