What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
