I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
sarcasm needs its own font
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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