He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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