Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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