ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
