so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
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From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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