every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize