dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
