David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
