I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
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Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
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Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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