i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
