Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My dick has a subreddit
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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