Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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