in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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