Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
