I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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