So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
