Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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