yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
