I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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