there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I love having hate sex.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
