Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
