is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize