i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
