Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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