I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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