ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
