Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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