You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
