Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
