thus making me awesome and them whores
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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