That's when you crack a 10am beer
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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