when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
