HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
