we made out on top of his cat.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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