Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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