I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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