Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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