I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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