I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
