i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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