i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
