Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
