i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
