if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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