go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
